Some of the more "interesting" interactions I have with the public are during non-business hours at our little PSAP (Public Safety Answering Point / 911 center) We have a walk up window when the records department is closed.
We pull up the blinds, and anyone can walk up. I've maintained that in this era of multitudinous means of communicating over the airwaves, if someone walks to the police department there's an 80/20 chance they have a screw loose. The 20 percent are people who want to check on reports, lost and found items, or to ask if they can have a permit to carry. I love those, I eye them up and down like Larry David. Then I say, "You have to come back during business hours." Some day one of those will probably come back and shoot me. Oh well.
Today was Saturday, and a frail old woman with a Parkinson tremor appeared at the window. I'd estimate her age well past 80. She rested her hands on the platform outside the widow, and sighed.
"Can I help you?" I asked.
"Yes, I am a scrupulously honest person who is tormented when I think I did something wrong."
"Are you here to surrender?" I asked arching my eyebrow.
"Well, you know that trailer you have over here." She gestured to the west side of the police department. "I was driving up the road and there was a car going 20, so I pulled around them and accelerated, and then I saw the speed sign said 40, and realised it was me going 40." She took a deep breath and sighed.
"THEN it dawned on my I had crossed the double line and compounded my blunder." she leaned back and twirled her head reliving it all.
"So you ARE here to surrender." I leered at her with all the judicial gravitas I could muster.
"Well not just yet." she held up her hand palm forward. "First I have to ask, what is the machine for. Enforcement? Do I have to go home and fret about the ticket coming my way? I will fret you know, I'm burdenned by a conscience that keeps me up at night."
"You'll be glad to know that machine is called a smart trailer, and it only shows people their speed to make people aware of how fast they are going. It also keeps statistics, but it did not take your picture and it doesn't issue tickets."
"Oh, thanks goodness, don't they have those machines that do take pictures and such?"
"Minneapolis had the stop light cameras that issued tickets, but they were done away with because of some 4th ammendment issues."
"Oh yeah I remember that." she looked hopeful.
"The smart trailers are usually put out because neighbors request them. Like on France north of Minnetonka people use that like a drag strip." I offered.
"Oh don't I know it, that's quite the speedway yes."
"I use it for a speedway myself." I offered conspiratorily.
"Oh you do do you." she leaned in chuckling.
"Well heck yeah, I have to get to work!"
We shared a laugh.
"Thankyou so much for the information, you've taken a load off my mind, and I can assure you I will be much more mindful of my driving after this." She turned to leave.
"OR" I suggested devilishly "You'll go straight back to the street, and see how high you can register on the sign."
